Day 3 Thursday 21 April

I am doing the Atkins diet.

I am starting on Phase3 which means I can have about 40-50 net carbs each day.

According to Atkins, I only need to shed 3kilograms.  I will shed these 3 kilograms (to get to 56kilograms) then I will maintain it and see how I feel.  If I feel more needs to come off, then I will get the rest off.

I like this Atkins program though I have only started today.  I remember now this is how I managed to stay in-shape before.  Refined carbs make me feel horrible in my skin and about myself.  Though, they also give me that ‘high’ or relaxed feel, unfortunately after an hour or so I start feeling flumpy and lazy and my gut bloats, I feel quite depressed in that state.  I must be allergic to something, I don’t know.  It doesn’t matter, I am not going to analyse this too much.  I am doing the Atkins diet now, and hopefully for the rest of my life because I feel better without the stupid carbs!   And that’s final, that’s how it is for me right now.

So, today I just feel like I have eaten too much.  Too much fat.  I have cut the carbs, so, according to Atkins, I need the extra fat to use for energy.   Anyway, I am just going to trust this.  I wish it would work.  I don’t want to go through the carb-flu or the keto-flu.  I want to keep my energy levels stable, and that includes energy for my brain to use.

So, I will start.  I have eaten already today 49-50 net carbs and that is somewhere between 1500-1800 calories (recommended by the Atkins people because they argue a person can eat more on a high protein, high fat diet because it burns more efficiently than a high-carb low fat diet.  We will see).

I am not following the meal plan exactly because it would be too expensive for me.  So, I am just counting the net carbs.

ie: 19grams of total carbs – 6grams of fibre – 4 grams of alcohol sugars = 9 net carbs.

That’s the calculation used by the Atkins people to determine net carbs in food.

I am also including 1 tblspn of potato starch in the morning (total = 7 net carbs) and at night I will eat some gelatin (this is for my gut).

I am not hungry right now.  I bought some coke zero today.  That is something to have only once in a while. Though there are no net grams in the coke zero, it makes me feel like eating more food.

Here is what I ate today, so far:

(also include 1 sml tin of tuna, 2 tblspn of whipped cream (allowed in Atkins and is only about .2 net carbs.  Though it is important to keep this in moderation), about 15 grams of mozzarella cheese (=1 net carb).  If I get too hungry (though I do not want to eat any more for today.  I understand I can eat things like about 4oz (120grams?) of meat, or maybe even a tin of sardines, or some more tuna… I can even have some more coconut oil; each of which has 0 net carbs.  However, I worry about the calorie intake.  I only decided to start the Atkins diet this morning after breakfast.  Also I need to drink more water.  I can drink herbal tea for the rest of today.  Also, I bought some of that Konjac which has something like 1 gram of carbohydrate in it.  I could have that with tuna and a tspn of coconut oil if I get hungry.  Need to have meals prepared otherwise I just start grabbing the first food I can see which could be an Atkins bar and I do not have enough net carbs left for that.

For sure though, I feel fuller today on the same amount of calories than how I felt on a higher carb diet.





Day 2 Wednesday 20 April 2016

eWoe, gosh, calories add-up so quickly! My promise to you is I will get through this day under 1200 calories, and I will no matter what. It’s 6.20am with only 450 calories to go! What is that? An egg and egg-whites with 2 cups veg. tblspn of peanut butter with veg. maybe a small banana and some berries in there? A coffee with a splash of almond milk. Do I have enough for a square of dark chocolate? I have promised to keep under 1200 calories for two months no matter what, and regardless of anything. Right now, I am a little worried about how I will make it to 12am, but I know I will. I can. I will! I am!

7:45am: Well, it is getting quite difficult and it is only day two!

So, I have only two hundred calories to go.  I have to make it last until 12am no matter what.  I was at work from 12am to now, and I have already eaten nearly 1000 calories worth.  What am I going to do?

OK;  So an egg is about 80 cals, add egg-whites, about 1-2 cups of vegetables and 1/2 to 1 cup of berries after I wake-up.  That ought to last me a few hours.  I can have coffee, green tea, lettuce, water.

You’ve got to love yourself first.

Below: I am not sure why I have put this vide0-song here, I don’t usually listen to it, and I have not seen the video before.  I was weighing-up whether I should or not.   No horse belongs cooped-up in an urban area with all the dangers around it presents, though horses have a calming effect on people.  I once knew an ambulance driver who was also an ex-military man.  He worked with horses because it calmed his PTSD.  However, these horses do not look happy.  They need to be treated right, not frothing at the mouth or tied-up so tightly they start clawing on the ground.  Anyway, this is what I was thinking while sitting here watching this video.  So, this really is just random… and that’s okay.  There’s nothing like a bit of difference to wipe the boredom off the surface.  However, without thinking about it too much, then it is just a nice song.  🙂 And one to take my mind off the fact I only have 200 calories to go.  Anyway, I can feel the love.  I am loving myself and the world when I stay under 1200 calories.  Got to laugh at oneself once in a while.

8:33am – You know something?  This is really difficult.  I’ve got saliva glands and a body telling me “Freakin eat something: all you need is…” but no, I need to stop those thoughts in their tracks.  I need water.  The most difficult thing for me to do right now is to drink water.  I am quite tired.  Also, though I might have some natural dietary fibre just to fill-up a bit.  I think, maybe I can just have a tiny bit… like just one berry or just a couple of berries and then I will eat them slowly… or just nibble on a bit of chocolate… NO NO NO.  This is self-defeating behavior when one needs to stay under 1200 calories (my gosh, look at me, it’s only day two and I am writing like I have been stuck on a deserted island for years and years and years).  It’s better, for me, to not eat anything rather than eat just a tiny bit or a “nibble” here and there because a nibble turns into more than just a nibble, and a little bit always turns into more than a little bit.  A few moments just “nibbling” or having “just a little bit” easily, very, very, very easily can blow-out the 1200 calorie limit I have set myself for the next two weeks.  It is much better to save the calories I do have left for when I really am hungry/need to eat.  It is so important to me right now to do this.  I want to, I need to, prove to myself I can do this.  I want to.  I am stronger than what I think I am and I can get through this day and every single day for the next sixty days!  🙂

“this time I’m gonna be stronger, I’m not giving in…”

Summer… reminds me of when I was a teenager, going to the surf beach after school

Coldplay below this video (I could not type this under the song by Sigma :  this is pretty amazing, the colours are also inspirational.

UPDATE, 2pm.  This 1200calorie diet is easier said than done.  I got to about 1pm and I just had to eat something.  So I kind of picked because I wanted to eat the least amount of food as I possibly could while also trying to satisfy my craving and full me up a bit.   However I may have eaten more than 1200 calories.  In fact, I am pretty sure.

So, I ate something like this:  Soup made with broth, green beans and a couple of mushrooms.  Then I ate about a tablespoon total of coconut oil (I can not be certain exactly because I was eating it from the jar in tiny nibbles and mixing it with rapidloss chocolate powder (which is quite yum).  However, the hunger was still there, so I ate a 3 egg-white omelette.  I was still hungry, so I ate another omelette with one egg and two egg-whites.  I was still feeling peckish, so I ate some frozen blueberries from the bag (about 1/2 to 1 cup total in the end).  I still felt unsatisfied, so I mixed some of the blueberries with a couple of tablespoons of oats with about 1/4 to 1/2 cup of Almond milk.

I have no idea how many extra calories that is, but it is more than the 200 I had left.

Ok, I have just tallied it up on, and I ate about 500 calories and it seriously does not feel like it at all. This needs to change. Some people do not count their vegetables as calories, however I think too many vegetables can be a disservice.   So, to keep it balanced and in-check, I will count vegetable calories.

Total for the day so far is: 1532. This is still not so bad. I mean, seriously, this is about how much I need to eat each day to maintain my weight. So, whether I exercise or not, I will stay the same weight if I eat no more today. Likely I will only sleep today anyway.  Also, for a few days I was eating about this much (more or less) every day while exercising. Though there were also a couple of 2000 calorie plus days (remember though, some days I was doing between 2-4 hours of exercise just to try and get into a calorie deficit and burn it all off).

It seems that no matter what I do, whether I try and lower the calories or increase the exercise, it is like my body has a programmed internal alert system which fights against fat burning.   Or is it my mind sabotaging my efforts? Honestly, I had only gulped down one litre of water, I could have drank more water before I ate.

So, how do I stop this from happening again?  Drink more water is the obvious choice. However, to better control my portion sizes, and know exactly what and how much I am eating, I need to plan what I am going to eat, and have it all prepared, and no matter what, do not eat more than what I have prepared. This is going to take a lot of time, effort, preparation and planning. I can do this.



However, my goal was to stay under 1200 calories, no matter what, and regardless. This was the promise I made, and I could not keep it, not even to myself. I need to think again before I make such a commitment so soon.

5 Evening Primrose Oil capsules, 1tspn Magnesium, 2 tblspns potato starch, 1 tspn fibre sprinkles.




I am so tired today, I did not sleep after work and it is now about 3pm, so likely I will sleep until tomorrow.  Without work tonight, hopefully I can manage to get to the gym as soon as I wake up.

I also need to do some grocery shopping because I am running low on food. I will grocery shop early tomorrow morning, then prepare some meals. I am so tired. I have spent so much time on this blog, maybe too much time? I just want to be at my goal right now, and have the life and all the things I want now.

I think if I keep these calories too low at the moment, then I could binge, which is what I think my body was trying to do before. Add lack of water, and feeling tired to the mix, then I am glad I stopped myself before it got worse. So, although my goal this month is to get down to an easy 1200 calorie per day meal plan, I am going to set my current goal at 1400 calories every day for the next two weeks. Otherwise my body is just going to try and binge like before, and it really did start to feel like an uncontrollable urge, as though my body ‘NEEDED’ the food, but in reality did not. It probably just thought I was trying to starve it. I am not, I am just wanting to get rid of the extra fat my body does not need.

I am just being sensible about it. Although, I did try and set myself a 1600 calorie limit the other day, and instead I just ate about 500 calories extra!   Maybe I need to set myself a limit, like 700 calories per day, that way I can binge on an extra 500 calories and still remain under 1200 calories… hey, whatever works 😉   I am so confused. I just want to keep it simple and stay under 1200 calories. This is so simple and it works! The only problem is that, like before as I have just proven many times before, is that my body gets an uncontrollable urge to binge.  Okay, so I am going to try and trick myself… starting from tomorrow, I am going to keep under 700 calories and if I eat an extra 500 calories, then that is okay, I will still be under 1200 calories. Maybe this will work. I am doing this for 8 weeks, so I am trying whatever I can to try and shed one kilogram every week. The only problem is whatever I eat less and I end up with no or low energy? The balance is difficult. I will try this trick for a couple of days and see if it works.

Or even if I don’t eat nearly as much as 1200 calories one day, then (if it is needed) I can save and eat the extra amount on another day. I just will not carry-over the extra calories into the next week. So, it is like I am eating about the same amount of calories 8,400 per week.

So, maybe I will try this:

“I will eat the least amount as I can today and save the rest for another day this week”

I will also record the calories I eat accurately.  I mean, even if I do manage to eat a couple of hundred calories less, then that still adds up. Even 50 calories less can add up to a chocolate cake splurge at the end of the week.










Day One Tuesday 19 April 2016

Today I start the 1200 calorie diet.  Yesterday I ate a little more than 2000 calories, so I am looking forward to getting started and shedding these nasty pounds.

I will be using to log my daily calories, then copy-pasting here.  I will be totally accountable with diet, exercise, water and I will log the exact amount so you can also have somewhat of a rough guide to follow.  If I eat more/less and at what time, then I will be honest and precise about it.  I will be accountable.

This is the meal plan I will be following, which I have copied from

and the link to the recipe for the date/oatmeal/walnut balls (above):

So, these are around 80 calories per ball.  The exact calories will differ each time because you may need to add more dates (for example) to get the mixture more ‘wet’ so that the balls combine well and don’t fall apart. 

So I put around 24 dates (just the normal kind), 1/3 cup of walnuts and 1/3 cup of quick oats (oats that have been ground up a little so that they cook a little faster) in the blender and blended until the mixture came together. 

Then I the mixture into little balls (this time I made 15, normally I would make 12) and put them in the fridge to set hard.

You could vary the ingredients – try almonds instead of walnuts or try adding some coconut

WATER, WATER, WATER 2-3 Litres every single day… I will force it down if I need to.

Get at least seven hours of sleep every day, to prevent the production of stress hormone cortisol and decrease of leptin (body’s natural appetite suppressor) and an increase in ghrelin (body’s appetite stimulant).  It is therefore important to sleep about seven hours in order to help the fat burning process  🙂 I refer to a peer-reviewed paper published in which concluded:

Recent evidence suggests that sleep loss, a highly prevalent — and often strongly encouraged — condition in modern society could be a risk factor for major chronic diseases, including obesity and diabetes

(a nice refreshing sleep)

I will incorporate one tablespoon of potato starch in the morning, and another table spoon before I go to bed at night.  Not sure why, but I will because it is supposed to be good for the gut.  My gut seemed to bloat after I stopped smoking, and only l-glutamine helps it a little bit.  I will also post before and after photos (darn just remembered my camera is not working, nevertheless, I will find a way… somehow)

I will not be eating bread, simply because I feel like I am suffocating whenever I eat it, but if it agrees with you, I recommend it in moderation of your own caloric intake.   If I eat bread, I eat Purebred which is gluten-free.   Purebred is available from Coles (Australia) and is only about 100calories for two slices, and it has a decent amount of fibre.

An alternative to the breakfast is eggs.  Instead of the suggested above, I usually eat one egg with two egg whites on two pieces of purebred (1tblpsn of tomato sauce, and 1/2 tblspn of Dijon mayo).  I will have a coffee with a splash of almond milk in the morning.

(left: egg and egg-whites for breakfast)

However, I might just get rid of the bread altogether.  I do not want to go too low with the carbs though, as I do not want to go through the ‘keto-flu’ which I have not been able to get beyond and it makes me feel like I am dying anyway.  I did not like it one bit, no matter what the experts say, I need some carbs, and brown rice and quinoa atleast are good enough.

This is no expensive fancy diet.  It is just energy in versus energy out.  Find which exercise you like and do it.  I go to the gym and lift a couple of weights (about 5kg handweights), do some cardio, jog, walk, ride my bike for transport, sometimes a home dvd like zumba or tae-bo, HIIT etc…  I also practice dancing when I can (it’s like a folksy dance, so it is not high-cal burning, though I am going to start practicing more often, like every day if I can).

 (Exercising is fun, enjoyable, keeps you healthy, gives you energy, takes away the stress, makes you strong… why wouldn’t you do it…everyday?)

I start tomorrow with the potato starch, so I am going to try eating a smaller breakfast with only eggs (and  no carbs) maybe that’s what I need to get through the day on a 1200 calorie?  Also, I drink Nescafe Intense coffee in the morning, for the rest of the day I am going to have only green tea/herbal tea.  Before bed I will have a night herbal tea.

I found online a recipe which is meant to help aid sleep… it is: one tablespoon of coconut oil, with about 1/4 tspn of honey and 1/8 tspn of salt, and just eat it all at once and chase it with some water.  I tried it once, it was okay.  So, if I am still hungry before bed or am peckish or just plain can not sleep then I will give that a go, if it doesn’t work and I am still hungry then yoghurt before bed is a good idea, or even WATER, WATER, WATER.

I also take a multivitamin daily, sometimes a spirulina tablet, I take quite a few Evening Primrose Tablets (maybe overdosing on those sometimes, nevertheless), I also take Vitamin B12 tablet once in a while (apparently you cant overdose on those, you just pee the extra b12 out?)

Okay, I am just hoping I can do this.  I know it is going to be tough.  Sometimes it is easier to eat nothing or way less and have the high of starvation carry you through… but I know, for me anyway, I end up crashing and my body turns into a beast and starts rummaging for the extra vitamins and minerals it missed out on.  So, no, I will not be starving or eating junk all the time, this is a healthy 1200 calorie meal plan (though frickin it is going to be tough) with exercise.

3.27am: Feeling so fat.  [stay positive]/  I ate too much yesterday, and likely the day before.  It’s as though I can feel the weight gaining on my body.  So, I will get through today, I know this will be worth it.  I need to stick with it all the way to the end.  I will not change diets, I know this works, and I need to stick with it which is part of the reason for this blog: accountability.  I can do this.  I think the less I eat, the better at this stage.  I am sitting here and I do not need to eat, I am not hungry.  I need water, and water I will drink.   Right now I am feeling so impatient, I just want this weight off now.  Right now.  I need to be patient and trust the process, it is going to work.  I have never been able to keep under 1200 calories since I stopped smoking.  So, everyday is going to be such an achievement for me.  I just so hope I can make it until my goal, and not give in.  This will take about eight weeks if I stay under 1200 calories with daily exercise.  I just want to get to my goal and on that day post an awesome post about how great it feels to have achieved my goal within a specified time-frame (maximum of eight weeks).   I just want to get this over and done with, I don’t want another year to go by before I have managed to shed a couple more kilos.  I want to do it, I want to do it now.   I will reward myself along the way.

(left: goal; you can do it!)

Right now, I wish I was at about the two or three week mark, just so I can get away from where I am now… which is feeling absolutely fat and blugh from the last couple of days… so, I cant wait until it is May and I have been keeping under 1200 calories.  I so, hope this works.  I hope you, whoever you are reader, are also able to do this.  It’s not easy, I understand… I honestly do, but if I can do this (I realise it is a cliché) so too can you.  I am so bad at dieting.  I am such the worst, but I am going to work hard for this.  The effort is worth it, and then you need to maintain it.  So, once I get to my goal I will keep an update every so often, just to keep you motivated as well, and to also give you hope if you’re serious about looking and feeling your best at your ideal weight -whatever weight that is.  It’s about the healthy life, it’s about feeling your best, and looking your best aswell 🙂  Looking good for my own age is what I aim for.

This is going to be a challenge and awesome, so let’s crack the whip and get started!

What can I say?  I am impatient… here is my calorie log for today 12am to 4.56am


The calories do quickly add up.

The 1200 calorie diet can be done with exercise on an empty stomach first thing as this person’s blog shows…

8:30am: so I have been adding some motivational quotes.  I ate one tablespoon of potato starch when I got home. I felt a shrinking feeling in my gut… must be a good thing!  So, right now I am weighing up whether I ought to eat something or leave it until later.  I need to keep between 1000 – 1200 calories for the next eight weeks.  I might leave it, I am tired anyway.  I can always drink water and I might drink a herbal tea.  The calories add-up so quickly.  I might have a tomato… then BAM! That’s about 25 calories gone.  So, while I am restricting to 1200 calories every day, then I think it is best to just leave it if I am not feeling hungry enough.   Every moment counts.  Every second counts.

I am feeling restless, and it’s only day one.   Should I eat, or should I not?  I am beginning to feel a bit hungry, but I need to sleep.  I have not prepared or planned what I am going to eat today, though I have a general idea.  I do need to meal prep this week.  Today the goal is to just get through the day under 1200 calories.  I can do this!

Later: I ended-up eating one tablespoon of peanut butter and coconut oil with celery, and I slept really well.  I woke-up at about 9 or 10 hours later.  So, I must have needed the sleep because for the last couple of days I had not been sleeping well, which may have contributed to spike in calories.  However, today I was able to stay under 1200 calories… so KUDOS to moi!


NIKE says “JUST DO IT!”  swoosh!

Total foods and calories for Day 1 – Tuesday 19 April 2016   FIVE STAR EFFORT 🙂

Water: 8 cups, Evening Primrose Oil: 4, Women’s Multivitamin, 1 tblspn potato starch a.m., one tblspn potato starch p.m.,  sleep: amazingly about nine hours.

Exercise: rest day.


What an awesome day today.  I stayed between 1000 and 1200 calories.  This is an excellent effort by me!

I like brussel sprouts by the way.

I can not stomach pork (ham is okay), broad beans, or those fancy dishes like liver, tripe (whatever that is…gross) etc…



Foods Calories Carbs Fat Protein Cholest Sodium Sugars Fiber
Usda Sr26 (2013) – Brussell Sprouts, 250 g (3.5 oz) 108 23g 1g 9g 0mg 63mg 6g 10g
Cheese, cheddar, 0.5 slice (1 oz) 57 0g 5g 3g 14mg 90mg 0g 0g
Rapidloss – Meal Replacement Shakes With 200ml Water, 300 ml 225 0g 0g 0g 0mg 0mg 0g 0g
Pear – Pear, 132.8 grams 77 21g 0g 1g 0mg 1mg 1g 4g
Bird’s Eye – Ocean Selections Frozen Whiting Fillets, 110 g 82 0g 0g 20g 0mg 84mg 0g 0g
Heinz – Tomato Sauce United Kingdom, 0.5 tbsp 9 2g 0g 0g 0mg 0mg 2g 0g
Celery – Celery, 1.95 med stalk (40g) 12 2g 0g 0g 0mg 42mg 0g 1g
Peanut Butter: Skippy Chunky – Chunky Peanut Butter, 1 Tbsp (32g.) 95 4g 8g 4g 0mg 63mg 2g 1g
Coles Simply – Fibre Sprinkles, 7.5 g 15 1g 0g 1g 0mg 3mg 1g 5g
Australia Lindt Excellence – 70% Cocoa Dark Noir, 10 grams 52 3g 4g 1g 0mg 6mg 3g 0g
Egg – Egg, Boiled, 1 large egg (50 g) 70 0g 5g 6g 215mg 71mg 0g 0g
Egg Whites – Scrambled, 1.5 large Egg (33g) 26 0g 0g 5g 0mg 83mg 0g 0g
Rice – Brown, long-grain, cooked, 0.5 cup 108 22g 1g 3g 0mg 5mg 0g 2g
Heinz – Tomato Sauce United Kingdom, 0.5 tbsp 9 2g 0g 0g 0mg 0mg 2g 0g
Jif – Whipped Peanut Butter, 0.5 table spoons 35 2g 3g 1g 0mg 24mg 1g 1g
Oil, coconut, 0.15 tbsp 18 0g 2g 0g 0mg 0mg 0g 0g
Almond Breeze – Vanilla Almond Milk, 0.15 cup 12 2g 0g 0g 0mg 23mg 2g 0g
olives – Olives, 1.5 pieces 8 0g 1g 0g 0mg 99mg 0g 0g
Cheese, cheddar, 0.15 slice (1 oz) 17 0g 1g 1g 4mg 27mg 0g 0g
Iceburg – Lettuce, 0.5 cup shredded or chopped 1 2g 0g 1g 0mg 14mg 1g 1g
Almond Breeze – Vanilla Almond Milk, 0.15 cup 12 2g 0g 0g 0mg 23mg 2g 0g
Egg – Egg, Boiled, 0.5 large egg (50 g) 35 0g 2g 3g 108mg 36mg 0g 0g
Canada Beef – Strip Loin (Raw), 80 g 109 0g 4g 18g 39mg 47mg 0g 0g
TOTAL: 1,192 88g 37g 77g 380mg 804mg 23g 25g